My Magic Millions Is Over

I decamped from Magic Millions after the first four days and am back in Sydney for a couple of days before heading up to the Hunter Valley to look at some Sydney-bound yearlings.

In the circumstances, the Gold Coast sale could hardly have been better. Without Patinack it might have been down 15%, but the fact is that Patinack was there. With the EI uncertainty late last year, MM lost some attractive horses to the Sydney catalogue. But the most significant one-off factor this year was the sale’s proximity to Sydney which made many buyers think twice about how deep to go in at the Coast, with all that Sydney quality just three weeks away. With this timeframe, unlike in all other years, there’s no time to buy up big at MM, sell down then re-group for another bash at Sydney. Overall, it was a good result for sellers at MM. There were some huge prices (not just the obvious seven-figure ones) and many breeders would have been pinching themselves, but the unfashionable/unsound combination was punished fairly severely. There were too many fat yearlings and there are still a very small number of consignors who clearly farm theirs and fall well short of a decent standard of presentation.

MM were only kidding that there was any prospect of giving up their January timespot. One thing I ask – could they kindly take March’s weather and less frenetic traffic back with them?

Funniest moment: inspecting Gerry Harvey’s Hussonet filly with the locked patella. Gerry standing over my shoulder telling me the vets say it'll fix itself with time. Me telling Gerry that may be correct but how was he going to get this rigidly immobile horse into the ring to sell it to anyone in the first place? Wisdom prevailed and the filly was withdrawn next day.

Prettiest sight: the raven-haired 30-something-perhaps-40 buxom beauty with the obligatory short black dress in the ground floor members’ bar at the Gold Coast Turf Club all day Saturday. Not one of those flimsy, anorexic clothes horses. I’m in love. Regrettably, the Corona-swigging bloke with the obligatory hairy chest, who was with her, most likely is too, unless she was $300 an hour.

Discomfort Award: the new ringside dining configuration. Sardines. Just emphasizes the inadequacy of the venue.

Bookbinder’s Prize: to the scores of people who ripped the first four days out of their catalogues and made a separate, smaller, book out of them. We shouldn’t have to do that, MM. Next year, please: Book 1 with the top 500, Book 2 with the next 500, Book 3 or Book 4 with the rest. Thank you.

Disregard of Customers’ Opinions Award: David Chester, quoted as saying we should use the catalogue as a door stopper. I agree. BEFORE the sale.

Most practical improvement that can be made prior to next sale: build a shelf above the urinal in the mens’ loos. Somewhere to rest the door stopper while we use two hands thanks.

I’m jealous: In the business centre, above the Xray repository, there’s press clippings from 20 years ago including photos of David Chester. He hasn’t changed.

They have arrived: Chris and Stephanie Waller. The new Gai and Robbie.

Boredom Award: the Gold Coast Bulletin. Take my advice, next year ask your hotel to slip The Australian or the Courier Mail under your door each morning instead. Day after day, the GCB regaled us with picture-spread after picture-spread of MM socialites and party-goers in various states of dress/undress. I didn’t see one of Tom and Kate, which must be a first. Each day they headlined basically the same boring story about how MM threaten to take the sale away (not even Adelaide was ruled out – excuse me while I die laughing) unless the Turf Club reinvents itself out at Palm Meadows. Looks like MM are trying to cash up the site and get a new one for nothing. One day they ran a back page photo with the screamer headline: “Look Who’s Come To Town – Gai (Waterhouse)!!” Surely it would have been news only if Gai HADN’T come to town! If I read one more reference to the Gold Coast as “the glitter strip” I’ll puke. Is that ‘glitter’ as in Gary?? They are trying too hard to be taken seriously by the rest of the world.

New name for the Gold Coast: Silicon City. Supposedly, one third of the population is Brazilian, though I may have misunderstood what I thought I heard.

Ripoff Award: to the hotels. I stayed at a mid-range joint on the ‘glitter strip’. Room service toasted sandwich $24, including weekend surcharge. Previously, I thought $4.20 for a small bucket of scungy chips at the Moonee Valley night races during Melbourne sale time took the prize. Petrol price gouging and Robert Mugabe have nothing on these guys.

Greatest contrast: the silhouettes of two Patinack trainers, Anthony Cummings and Paddy Payne.

Greatest similarity (you complete the sentence): the silhouettes of Nathan Tinkler and ……….

Star of the Show: the white Zabeel filly, Spook. Had more lookers than the Mona Lisa. People even took it upon themselves to go into her box unannounced and unsupervised so as to get up close and personal. She seemed to take it in her stride. She doesn't know she's different, she just thinks she's popular. Her dam Carmina Burana was an absolute snail but this filly is probably her best foal (she’s had five older foals who have won a total of one race). If you didn’t know who Craig Anderson and Amarina Farm were before this sale, you know now. Bet Craig's thrilled to see the back of the filly. She’d be a management nightmare. National Bank in New Zealand have long used a black thoroughbred as their logo and have promoted themselves as ‘the thoroughbred of banks’ (and have had a free ride in so doing); at least Singo has paid decent appearance money to get this actress.

A growing trend: horsemen and women who can’t bear to attend Magic Millions Raceday.

Biggest waste of money: I’m beginning to think it is Magic Millions Raceday. I will give this year the benefit of the doubt inasmuch as the time slot, bang in the middle of the Sydney carnival, probably deprived the meeting of several good horses. To chuck that much money at such ordinary horses as lined up in several of the undercard races is unworthy.

Blessed relief: Tara Reid didn’t attend. For pictures of this class act, see http://images.google.com/images?q=tara+reid&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7&rlz=1I7GGLR&um=1

Seeing is believing: Shane Keating as 'minder' of Miss Australia Kimberley Busteed throughout her duties as Face of MM. Last I heard Shane was heading for Mumbai - possibly the only place on earth Darley doesn't have a stud farm - to find the Maharishi, but I can understand why he deferred the trip.

Rumour but unbelievable: David Hayes had Patinack in his clutches but let him slip.

Most predictable outcome: Gai came away from the sale with a Patinack horse to train.

Biggest certainty: Sydney will be BIG.

Biggest irony: Patrick Sexton, long-time foreman at Tulloch Lodge, loses his best horse, Dirty, back to Tulloch Lodge. Pat was given his marching orders from Tulloch Lodge in 2006 because of his association with Eddie Hayson who has supported him strongly since Pat’s relocation back to the family stables at Oakey, northwest of Toowoomba. I went to Oakey on Friday to check out the 3YO Hussonet filly on behalf of the intending purchaser, a client. Pat is very philosophical and understanding about Eddie’s desire to sell and there is no bad blood. He kicked back in the best possible way with a winner at Doomben on Saturday, Sneaky Long. In a perfect world Pat would rather be back in Sydney but he’s producing the goods at sleepy little Oakey where he's king of the roost with a team of about 25. At 40 bucks a day he gets my vote as the best value trainer in Australia.

Radio fraud: I’m tootling back from the Gold Coast on Sunday, desperately searching the car radio dial for something to listen to. Suddenly it locks on to Power FM (98.1), a station based in Muswellbrook. I’m listening to the contemporary content which is punctuated by a juvenile announcer with really bad diction raving on about the long holiday weekend, going back to work on Tuesday, the lousy weather (it was brilliantly fine as I traveled through the Hunter)….. Then it dawned on me – what we were being fed on this radio station was a wall-to-wall RECORDING of LAST SUNDAY's radio (23 March)! Most of us know that few of these radio stations broadcast live, it’s pre-recorded, formulaic, zero-cost, high-profit, synthetic stuff. Have a listen, they never mention the real time except at the news break. But to recycle last week's programme?! Ye gods, no wonder radio whales John Singleton and Tim Hughes can enjoy themselves at the horse sales! Which brings me to Vega 95.3 FM, a Sydney station whose invention robbed us of Angela Catterns from the ABC. This station is easy on the ear but for the last three months, at least, it has been playing the same two songs every hour of every day of every week: Hey There Delilah (Plain White T’s) and Straight Lines (Silverchair). I calculate that’s 2,184 renditions EACH of these ditties since Christmas. Who said playola was dead? One thing I pray for under Labor is an end to the emasculation of the ABC. Irrespective of its cost, which in global terms is bugger all, it’s a wonderful institution in all its ramifications and anyone caught trying to drag it down to the lowest common denominator should be charged with a crime against humanity.

Who's embarrassed?: A few days after I made a substantial offer in writing, to the trainer, for a well-known race filly, it was said to me by the overseas owner's agent/friend that "I must be embarrassed to have made such a (low) offer". That's his opinion, though I disagree. However, as I have yet to this day to receive any acknowledgement of my offer or response I suspect it has never been presented to the owner. That's embarrassing.

Get Well Greeting: To a German yearling groom/leader I know only as Christoph (spelling guess). One of the most personable and knowledgeable of all sales workers, Christoph was working at MM for Reavill Farm. Another consignor's yearling got cast and Christoph went in to untangle it but caught a flying hoof and had his cheekbone crushed for his trouble. A general word about grooms and leaders: one sees many outstanding young people plying their trade at the sales. I take my hat off to them (I always wear a hat). What is it with those buyers so full of their own self-importance that they are rude and abrupt to these hard workers who have very demanding responsibilities? Get a grip.

Personal highlights: A filly I bought inexpensively in Melbourne last year won her debut impressively at Bendigo on Saturday and looks like she belongs in town. Ortensia (Testa Rossa-Aerate’s Pick, by Picnicker) cost $50,000. From the Eau d’Etoile family. Another I signed for, Latest Flame (Encosta de Lago-After Beune), won her debut at Gosford on Thursday and paid over $100 on the TAB. Astonishing, considering she’s in the Guy Walter stable. Anything that’s 100-to-1 is usually sent home!

A frightening thought: I discovered, walking around MM, that a lot of people read this blog, though no one admits to sending in their views except Jamie. Somebody said I'm the Richard Zachariah of cyberspace.