I manage horses which contest Group 1 and Group 2 races this Saturday so I’ll don the tin of fruit and and tot off to Randwick with hope in my heart and spend the day mingling with the Ray Bans-and-mousse set.
But do you know where the most remarkable racemeeting is being held this weekend? No, not Flemington, not Randwick, not even Longchamp.
Landor.
The Landor picnics, Western Australia’s answer to Birdsville.
I’ve never been to Landor. Who has? Shame on me, it’s more than 15 years since I’ve been to anywhere WA. My closest encounter has been watching Japanese Story which was set in the Pilbara, north of Landor. But I’ve just put Landor on my bucket list.
We are talking remote, we are talking spirit of the bush, we are talking real Australia (Pitt Street is not real Australia, it's Everywheresville).
Landor is a station (ranch in Yankee). Population about two. To the nearest town, Paraburdoo, it’s 230 kms. GPS says 760 kms north of Perth, 265 kms north-west of Meekatharra and 380 kms inland from Carnarvon on the WA coast. Red dirt country, remote as one thing.
It’s not far from reputedly the world’s biggest monolith, Mount Augustus. You thought it was Uluru, didn’t you? Apparently, there’s a rivalry between these two, a geological stare-down, but Mount Augustus wins hands down at 47.95 square kilometers in area.
But back to the Landor races. They began in 1921 after a lively discussion amongst stockmen about who had the fastest horse. Much the same as Derby and Bunbury, really, without the wigs and stiff upper lips.
The Landor picnics (the East Gascoyne Race Club) occur this weekend every year, two days of racing with a gymkhana squeezed in between. Something like a thousand people converge. Standing starts, amateur jockeys, bush-bred horses, a dirt track. They don’t suffer from small fields at Landor.
Seven races on Saturday with field sizes as follows: 9, 22, 28, 14, 25 (this the feature, the Margaret Dawson Memorial Ladies Bracelet over 1200m for a gross stake of $3,325), 24 and 21.
Then on Monday, Elders Landor Cup Day (1800m, $3,850), there are eight races of 25, 16, 28, 14, 9, 15, 27 and 29 !!
The only problem is, each horse seems to be down to run at least four times and very often in consecutive races ! I haven’t done a meticulous count-up to flesh out the above statement but one horse I can see, Howling (6g Ihtiram (Ire)-Minimoon, by El Moxie (USA)) has accepted eight times over the two days – and he’s just one of many! Howling hasn't raced since this meeting last year, when he ran a first and third. Presumably, in the meantime, he's been doing whatever it is horses do out there.
The Hammarquist family are one of several launching a Patinack-like assault on the meeting. Don is listed as training at via Meekatharra. His horses have been nominated and accepted (I think it’s actually a one-step process at Landor) a staggering 36 times. Brother – and I presume it’s brother – Graeme, from Walkaway, isn’t far behind him with 29! That's not 65 different horses, that's about five horses accepted 13 times.
Just how this all works I have no idea. The barrier draws have been done but I guess they just line up when and if they feel like it, or if the horse feels like it, to be exact.
This sounds like the most fun you can have out of bed. I feel compelled to switch off my computer for an hour or two and dive into Singer Of The Bush (book 2 of 'Banjo' Paterson’s complete works, one of my few treasured possessions) and transport myself spiritually if not physically all the way to Landor. It would be utterly liberating.
Photo credits: taken in 1991, sourced from the National Library Of Australia electronic files. Click on the top photo and see the cigarette advertising and see if you can spot Rob Waterhouse.
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Mention of Patinack – I see there’s a horse named Husson (3g Hussonet (USA)-Sultan’s Gift, by Radjhasi (USA)) going around in a maiden at Tamworth on Friday, hoping to improve on the 13th of 14 on his debut at Quirindi the other day.
Get out the cheque book, Nathan, and get him out of sight. Someone might get confused.
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